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"Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animals."

After 28 years and more stories than I can remember, it has dawned on me that the Holidays are a hard time on everyone.

Ive had a very difficult time this year, myself.

There was a lot of cheer and hope at the beginning of the season. I really wanted to get into the spirit of the holiday this year. I had a really great 2018 and I wanted to finish it off and start the new year with a BANG!, right? #traditions I guess.

...or did I get that from a movie?

(You never know the difference between films and reality anymore.)

Which brings me to my transition.

What is this 'BANG'? Can anyone really answer that. Grasp in words exactly what that is?

not really.

and when that thought started; I lost my holiday cheer.

Not to say I was anything, if not, thrown off course.

I loved what 2018 brought me and I couldn't figure out why my mood had turned so abruptly at the thought of obtaining that BANG; a moment to outdo all the moments of this year.

and the abruptness came from this:

All the amazing moments I had this year, lived and shone bright; I loved them with all my heart. As easily as those moments had come, they left. And in its place, brought a new year to replace the memories of years before.

It is hard for me to let the things that made me happy, go.

Over this last year I have had trouble recalling memories of my past that others recall so fondly. I know, now, that not all memories can be kept.

The abruptness was Mourning. Mourning for the times that are behind me. The times that I will inevitably let go of; not by choice.

But....(cause there's always a 'But')

In its place, holds mystery and wonder, sparkle and amazement in all the memories that are to fill its place.

The excitement is well on its way.

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